Relationship Reflection

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"Human relationships, and the effects of relationships on relationships, are the building blocks of healthy development" (Shonkoff & Phillips, 2000, p. 4).

Reflecting on this quote, I think about the relationships that have impacted my life and being.  My immediate family has truly shaped who I am.

My parents were childhood friends. They grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same high school, and married after my mom graduated high school. My parents love for each other is so sickening (in a good way).  Growing up, my siblings hardly ever saw them fight. The relationship and marriage they have is what I knew I wanted for myself as adult.

It’s hard to put into words how I feel about my parents, as parents. They loved us like no other. We were well-loved children. They were always bragging about us to all. As a child, I just was embarrassed. As an adult, I appreciate that love and devotion.  

My parents were very hard-working people. Our needs were always taken care and even some of our wants. If we were in any school club/organization or wanted to participate in extra-curricular activities, they were there for us. They made it happen without thought.  Sometimes, my parents struggled to provide the wants, but I never realized realize how much they put our needs and wants before their own until I became an adult. I am thankful for their dedication to making sure we succeed in whatever we wanted to do in life.

Today, my relationship with my parents is very strong. I talk with my mom every evening after work.  My dad is not a talker, but he shows his love through jokes and the little things that he still do for me and my family. We all gather for dinner every weekend. I enjoy this time with them and love what we have together.

I am the oldest of three. My brother is 2 ½ years younger. My sister is 4 years younger than myself. We were very close growing up. Our house was loud with three little ones running around. As children, we had the normal sibling fights, but we would make up in minutes. We were close-knit and love playing together. As adults, we are still close. My brother and sister spoil my children. We talk to each other often and support each other when needed. We are there for one another no matter what.

My husband and I met in college. We met my freshman year and his sophomore year in college. He was one of the first men I dated in college.   We fell in love quickly. We went to different colleges about 45 minutes apart. Even with the distance, we found time together often.  We were always making mini-roadtrips to see other. We did have our ups and downs, but we always came back together.

After college, I moved back home. We continued to be together and only saw each other once month.  It was difficult but we grew closer.  We married three later. We have been married for 7 years now.  He is  truly the love of my life. We are so much alike that sometimes those are the things that drive me crazy about him. He is so loving, caring, and always looking to make me happy. This partnership is not easy, we work at it. We spend time with each other away from the kids and we talk about what is on our mind. We work on us because we value our commitment to each other.

        

          

Our children are our loves. They are 6 and 3.  We strive to be the best parents possible for them. We try to be firm and fair. We have lots of fun together. We try to have alone time or moments with each of them.  We strive to parents like the parents we have.

I want my children to know that they are loved. I want my children to know that they are cared for and loved like no other. I want them to realize how special and unique they are. I want them to dream big and become whatever they want to in life. 

As I reflect on these relationships in my life, I think about the impact it has on my professional relationships. As a early childhood educator, I realize that my life experiences influence how I treat others.  I want my colleagues to know that they are appreciated and wanted.  I want parents to feel that I respect and care about them and their children. I want children to know that they feel loved, wanted, and to know they are special.

Any type of relationship requires work. Especially, new relationships of colleagues, parents, and children require one to work on building a system of trust. My goal is to use the golden rule: treat others like I want to be treated.  My goal as educator is to treat all relationships with care, love, and respect.

Reference

Shonkoff, J. P., & Phillips, D. A. (2000). From neurons to neighborhoods: The science of early childhood. Washington, DC: National Academies Press.